The Joshua Signal

Nerdy but cute.

2009-08-16T17:25:00.000-06:00

Flying Pigs

2009-05-01T13:29:00.003-06:00

I am in no way an expert on medicine or health, but i have taken a few classes on infectious disease and epidemics and i just wanted to share a few thoughts about the Swine Flue "pandemic."

1. All of the cases in the U.S. have been mild. NO U.S. citizens have died from the disease. One Mexican toddler who was brought to the U.S. for treatment passed away in a Hospital. We will most likely hear of a few deaths before the "pandemic" ends.

2. Every year 35,000+ people die of influenza in the U.S.

3. All influenza viruses that make their way to humans started in an animal reservoir (either bird or pig), and most of the swine influenza cases are considered to be a categorized as a Type C. (C being the least severe on a scale from A to C).

4. The W.H.O. estimates that a viable vaccine will be available within a month, but many experts estimate that the spread of the virus will already be over at that time.

5. If you do get the disease you are not going to turn into a pig or die. Although both might happen if you get into a fight with the witch from Willow.

At this point I would be more afraid of the witch than the flu.

oNe anD All

2009-04-07T21:31:00.003-06:00

Kendall and I are (happily) getting married Saturday August 15th at Noon in Portland. Plan accordingly. I hope that this helps you all figure out your summer. (Since all of my siblings have asked when i was getting married in the last week I thought this would be easier than calling you all... did it work?)

BYU, Sunday Police

2009-03-22T20:29:00.003-06:00

Today I saw something that I thought I would never see.

I got to church in a little bit of a rush today (I wasn't late). I was trying to find a spot on campus (a nightmare that I could write 10 blogs about...). When I was driving behind the JKB and JFSB I passed a cop that had his lights on pulling someone over driving in the opposite direction.

Not only was this a BYU cop, whose credibility is already in question, this cop was wearing a full (Sunday) suit.

It made me wonder what crime the guy getting pulled over committed. Whether he was speeding or if he just forgot to do his Home Teaching this month.

The War is Over

2009-02-27T10:25:00.002-07:00

Just wanted to let the blogosphere know that i finally beat Kendall in T.T.R. Europe. The best part is, i did it in style. I didn't just beat her by a longest train (+10 pts.) I got 9 destinations and racked up a score of 171. It feels good to dethrone a king (or queen).

ps. I am really not one to brag, so i hope that you didn't read this post like i am mocking Kendall. It just feels good to win after losing THIRTEEN straight games.

I hate Europe.

2009-02-15T23:11:00.002-07:00

i just wanted to officially announce that Kendall has beaten me in "Ticket to Ride Europe" every time we have played in the last three weeks since we bought the game. She is a perfect 10-0. I am honestly starting to doubt if i will ever win.

the ultimate battle.

2009-01-28T08:04:00.002-07:00

For penny-pinching college students, polygamist mothers, and large Hispanic families alike, there is a weekly battle (ok, sometimes its more like 3 times a week). The decision that you face seems simple enough. You approach the sweaty-hair-netted employee cash (no cards) in hand.

What do you do? Hot Dog or Pizza? Both offer significant nourishment and the all important "fullness factor." But whichever one you choose you know that you are always going to want the other.

If you choose hot dog you are going to sit by someone wielding a warm slice of cheese pizza, laughing as they fold it in half and enjoy its gooey goodness. Choose pizza, and you'll notice someone eating a hot dog with ketchup, deli mustard and fresh onions in a warm bun (bun=the ultimate in clean-compact-edible-receptacle technology.)

so whats it gonna be?

Peeance Freeance.

2009-01-16T09:06:00.002-07:00

A few random thoughts for this week.

1. Yesterday everyone hailed the pilot of Flight 1549, who successfully landed a plane with 155 passengers into the Hudson River (That doesn't sound like a successful landing to me). The bigger news was the fact that there were no casualties. I am wondering if PETA will be holding a candlelight vigil in the next few days for the downed geese who made this news story possible.

2. Speaking of PETA i learned an interesting fact about cats. During the summer of 1916, or "polio season", New York officials were still trying to figure out what was causing the Polio virus to spread. In an attempt to clean up the city and make it safer for the children, they drowned 72,000 stray cats in a single summer. In an after thought, it turns out that a few years later scientists discovered what we know now, that humans are the only reservoir for Polio. So the killing of 72,000 cats was in vain... too bad.

3. Yesterday Kendall picked me up an hour before my first class and asked if i wanted to go out to eat. I said sure, and she suggested Guru's (which if you haven't been to i highly recommend). She parked the car and walked into the restaurant and rather than heading for the counter (where you order) she instead walked to the back of the store and sat down in front of a plate of sweet potato fries. At the same time, a server brought out a plate of fish tacos and set them down next to Kendall. How cute is she? It was so great to not have to wait for our food, and even better to be treated to lunch from a gorgeous girl.

Engaged!

2009-01-06T21:30:00.003-07:00

Doesn't she look so cute with that ring on her finger? You can read the story on Kendall's blog by clicking HERE.

Spider Monkey.

2008-12-13T23:13:00.002-07:00

I just wanted to take a quick second of your time to let you know how amazing Kendall is.

Friday afternoon i helped Kendall transport some food up to an Office part at her boss's house. Once we showed up i realized that they were asking her for directions on how to set up the food and where to put the "white-elephant" Christmas gifts. Turns out she was in charge of the entire party. Which she ran smoothly, calmly, and patiently... she even brought seven extra gifts for those who forgot... and stayed late to clean up.

Today Kendall spent a HUGE portion of her day making a delicious Thanksgiving dinner for our "family" (Shout out to Alaina for shoving her hand in the turkey). Kendall even made sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, and stuffing for me... did i mention that she looked fabulous doing it?

This girl is amazing.

NW > UT

2008-11-26T09:22:00.004-07:00

Five reasons why the Pacific North West is better than Utah.

1. Green.
Green grass, green trees, and green bushes.

2. Green Lights.
a. Left turn signals that go before the main traffic in your direction.
b. Green lights based on who gets to the intersection first.

3. Fog.
Fog > smog.

4. Traffic.
Not the fact that traffic is much worse in Washington (it's real traffic), but the fact that when you are in traffic people are courteous. It might sound crazy, but people actually let you merge in this state. Also, yellow lights here aren't seen as a second green light.

5. Recycling.
Dear Utah Government,
Did you know that there is an alternative to having your citizens throw away their paper and plastic products?

Give me Five.

2008-11-21T00:25:00.003-07:00

five things i was doing 10 years ago
1. Roller blading (the "g" is silent...pronounced "bladin'")
2. Not wearing deodorant
3. Street Hockey (see #1 above)
4. Listening to Oldies 97.3 KBSG
5. Piano Lessons (the worst invention ever)

five things on my to do list today
1. Memorize 14 O-Chem mechanisms and all their variations
2. Pick up my Mom from SLC
3. Hold and kiss my new niece (again)
4. Finish a 10 page paper anthropological paper on the Himba of Nambia.
5. Get caught up on sleep.

five favorite snacks
1. 2/5 *Caffeine-Free Dr. Pepper mixed with 3/5 *Caffeine Free Diet Coke
2. Anything Kendall makes (really, i am such a lucky dude)
3. Sushi
4. Vitamin Water (XXX, Power-C, Energy)
5. Nacho Cheese Doritos ( I've got to be true to the 11 year old Josh)
(*may or may not be a true statement)

five jobs i have had
1. Rock salesmen (yes, i sold a $10 rock to my dad)
2. Paper Route (with Adam, and yes we did it while bladin')
3. Lawn Mower/bush pruner
4. Construction Worker/Errand Runner
5. Dental Receptionist

five things i would do with a million dollars
1. Buy my Dad's dental practice for $960,000.
2. Buy Kendall some new clothes.
3. Buy a safe-four-wheel-drive-snow-driving car

4. Go on a date to the real-non-dollar-theater movies
5. Eat Red Robin every day till i ran out of money.

Five things that made me laugh this week
1. All the drama on campus overheard between classes.
2. "Scottrade"
3. The Twilight craziness
4. The fact that i had an actual nightmare about O-chem last night
5. The fact that said nightmare allowed me to only get 4 hours of sleep.

Five people i tag to answer the same questions
1. Little Em
2. Big Em
3. Megan?
4. Whitney
5. Amber

Anything is possible.

2008-11-14T16:10:00.002-07:00

Dear Harry Potter,
I just wanted to let you know that my happy thought for producing a Patronus is kicking your butt.
love,
Josh

Critical Reviews.

2008-11-07T12:07:00.003-07:00

When people discover that i am a super critical movie watcher they often ask me something like, "Josh, if Gone in Sixty Seconds isn't a good movie, then what makes a movie good?"

I usually don't have an answer, but after Wednesday night i have come up with the perfect, succinct, five-word response...

Lars and the Real Girl.

This movie was amazing in so many different ways. Redbox it. I promise it will be worth your time. If you watch it and hate it, (or if you have less respect for me afterwards) i will give you a dollar for your time.

California's Proposition 8

2008-10-24T13:21:00.001-06:00

While discussing Proposition 8 with Alaina the other week she challenged me to come up with the basis of my argument and post it in Blog form. Before anyone reads the following thoughts, I want you to first be assured that if I had a ballot in front of me right now I would vote Yes on Proposition 8. (sorry this is so long, i guess i have had a lot to say over the last few weeks). (If you read and comment i will give you a cookie).

This conclusion did not come easily, and I just want to share a couple of (controversial) ideas that I have on the subject so all of my readers (all 3 of you) can know where I stand. I apologize beforehand if any of the things that I say offend you, and I can assure you that this in no way affects my testimony.

First of all, I believe that if you are going to stand for something that it should be done in the right way. If you are going to stand up against gay marriage I propose that this should be done in a respectful non-bigoted, non-judgmental way. When I ask people at BYU (and elsewhere) why they are voting yes on Prop 8 I have heard a lot of disingenuous and blatantly homophobic responses, and I would like to take the time to refute some common claims.

1.Lesbian Teacher Wedding ---This argument particularly bothers me, I have heard so many people say, “I don’t want my kids to have to go on field trips to city hall to see their lesbian teachers get married.” To which I respond, “Then don’t sign the permission slip.”

The incident that everyone is making reference to took place at Creative Arts Charter School. To put it in perspective for you, the school is run on a system where every parent of an enrolled child is required to volunteer 40 hours per year at the school. Because it is a smaller charter school the kids are kept in the same classroom with the same teacher for two straight years. So the First graders in question (and their parents (40 hours/year)) knew this woman very well. The entire field trip was planned by a parent volunteer as a surprise for the teacher. In other words, this wasn’t a lesbian teacher taking it upon herself to proselytize her students. Two parents were uncomfortable with the situation and their kids remained at the school because they didn’t sign the permission slip. When is the last time your kids went on a fieldtrip without your permission? Should we make a law to ban stupid parents?

2. Homosexuality is gross.--- I am not going to tell you that I think that two men being intimate is beautiful (personally I am more repulsed by the thought of two morbidly obese people…), but I think that it is ignorant to have this be your main argument.

Just because people don’t see the world the same way as you doesn’t mean that they are wrong. I think as members of the church we should be particularly sensitive to protecting the rights and privacy of others. Just as I hope others would defend our rights to private religious practices.

3. Supporting Homosexuality is not the next step to support Adultery and Pedophilia--- Being tolerant and accepting to homosexuals is not taking society in the direction of passing a law to promote cheating or molestation. Acting on pedophilic impulses damages or ruins a child’s ability to develop normally leads to increased likelihood of the victim becoming a perpetrator, and may lead to lifetime of confusion regarding intimacy. Adultery goes against everything that society is based on, it destroys families. That is why this country will never add an amendment allowing pedophilia or adultery. That is why supporting homosexuality is different (and will not lead to) an increased support of pedophilia and adultery. Whether you like it or not homosexuality binds two people, where as child molestation and cheating destroys families and the innocence of children.

4. You are practically anti-Mormon if you oppose Prop 8 --- Talking to my friend Ben today about Prop 8 he said, “I feel so bad for a friend of mine, he opposes Prop 8, and everyone in our apartment thinks he’s gay.”

"The greatest fear I have is that the people of this Church will accept what we say as the will of the Lord without first praying about it and getting the witness within their own hearts that what we say is the word of the Lord." President Brigham Young (Stand Ye in Holy Places, pp 162-63).

Is it possible for people, with a wide range of backgrounds and physiological make-ups, to come to different answers to prayer regarding the council of church leaders? If people do come to different conclusions should they be ostracized for their beliefs? In a interview with KSL L. Whitney Clayton of the Quorum of the seventy stated, “Latter-day Saints are free to disagree with their church on the issue without facing any sanction, We love them and bear them no ill will.”

5. Adoption/artificial insemination --- what I hear, “it is so unnatural for lesbian moms to get pregnant, it goes against what God would want.” Or, “I don’t think they should be allowed to adopt, that’s why I support Prop 8”

1. Is it unnatural for the thousands of straight couples, or single mothers who are artificially inseminated to get pregnant, does that go against God’s plan if they were otherwise unable to have babies?

2. Current Californian law grants domestic partners (straight or gay) the same rights regarding adoption, there is nothing a vote yes or no on Prop 8 will change about that. LDS family services, because they do not take money from the federal government, will continue to be able to carefully monitor prospective adoptive parents, as they do now in any other state.

What this country really needs are more parents who WANT to have babies, and who are committed to loving them.

_______________________________________________________________________

WHY I WOULD VOTE YES

All of the rights that would be granted by allowing homosexuals in California to marry are already included in their right to have a Civil Union. I do support Civil Unions, because I do support equal rights for all citizens, but I do not support, nor see the need, to redefine marriage as anything other than the sacred union between a man and a woman.

___________________________________________________________________

WHAT I THINK WE CAN DO AS MEMBERS

If you believe, as I do, that marriage should be between a man and a woman, by all means go knock doors and tell the whole world. But on an interpersonal level I think we could all be a little more tolerant of our gay brothers and sisters.

I have had the privilege at BYU to get to know several gay students. They came here from different socioeconomic backgrounds and different parts of the country, but there is one thing that they all have in common. While talking about their struggles with homosexuality I have seen the dread that each has in his eyes as he expresses the horror of living a lonely and isolated life. If homosexuality is a choice who would choose to be gay at BYU? If it’s a choice, how many “reformed” homosexuals do you know who chose to no longer be gay?

I think the best that we can do is love all people.

Feel free to comment. Feel free to refute everything I said or call me an idiot. I promise that I am in no way trying to insult you, I am just trying to write what I think.

If we all arrive at the same location does it matter how we got there?

the things i hear...

2008-10-23T14:58:00.006-06:00

The saga of hearing the best questions ever continues... I heard this amazingness in my (mostly freshmen) psychology class.

freshman kid dressed in plaid pajama pants: "Do you think that if in Jurassic Park the scientists would have made all of the dinosaurs male rather than female the people visiting the island would have been more safe?"

teacher: "What?"

PJ kid: "Well, when they mutated all it took was one male to impregnate all the female dinosaurs, if you reversed that there would have been only one chance of getting pregnant."

teacher: "Well this is the problem of trying to make correlations between the real and imaginary"

PJ : "I just think a lot of people could have been saved, thats all."

I can't believe it.

2008-09-29T17:02:00.001-06:00

Monozygotic telepathic anesthesia/I Judge People

2008-09-25T14:54:00.005-06:00

I love when I hear things in my classes that make me laugh, granted usually I am laughing at people, but laughter is good right?...

Today in my psychology class we were talking about environmental versus genetic effects and how they could be experimentally tested, and I was blessed to hear a great little story from a girl sitting 3 rows behind me.

(This whole story was told very passionately)
"My younger sisters are identical twins and one of them lives in Pennsylvania and the other one lives here. So a couple of years ago my Pennsylvania sister went into surgery for a thyroid problem, she only told us what day she was getting the surgery and not what time. So the day came for the surgery and my Provo sister got really tired in the afternoon, so she went home and took a nap. She woke up a couple of hours later and felt really groggy.
A couple of days later my sisters were talking and it turned out that the time that my Provo sister took a nap was the same time that my Pennsylvania sister went under for surgery. Do you think that that has more of a genetic or environmental cause?"

I think that the more important question is does monozygotic telepathic anesthesia work over different time zones?

Praise to the Man.

2008-09-22T09:36:00.004-06:00

181 years ago today, THE Prophet Joseph Smith received the Golden Plates from their resting place in the Hill Cumorah. Having been preordained and trained for four years from heavenly messengers, Brother Joseph set in motion the restoration of the very same Gospel that Christ established in his day.

Long Day.

2008-09-20T21:01:00.001-06:00

Today was a long day.
The End.

I'm Alive!

2008-09-05T20:12:00.001-06:00

School has officially begun.
This means a few things.
First, I get to experience the type of stress that I feel only twice a year. Secondly, there is lots of time spent on the computer doing important things (ie. changing classes, looking at book lists, changing classes, reading syllabi, changing classes), and avoiding unimportant things like blogging and facebook. Third, I get stressed out.
So through all of the stress and class switching I decided today to make a list of things that I am grateful for/nice things people have done for over the last week of being in Provo.

1a. Alaina has provided two meals, hours of distraction, a swimming excursion, and good conversation.
1b. Aunt Cheri brought my stuff (4 boxes worth) all the way from Salt Lake.
2. Abbey made a wonderful barbecue dinner (and kick-butt dessert) for Labor Day.
3. Adam and Emma provided me with a place to sleep and keep my stuff for 5 nights.
4. Kendall helped me look for housing, find a place, and move in. (and move out and in again... long story)
5. Kendall helped me clean the entire place, including, getting on her hands and knees and scrubbing my bathtub.
6. Kendall spent all of Wednesday shopping for things to clean and make my room more comfortable for me, including awesome rugs, a door mat, lampshades, and a plethora of cleaning supplies.
7. Kendall made me breakfast and dinner every night I have been here (other than the times mentioned above)
8,9,10. Kendall has been so sweet to me, she even made me cookies.
Thank you everyone for the wonderful things you have done for me. I love you all.

Edward y Bella

2008-07-31T21:43:00.002-06:00

I would like to start this post with two apologies.

1. I am sorry to everyone who thinks I am masculine, but who no longer will at the conclusion of this blog.
2. I am sorry for the countless number of times I made fun of the back of this lovely book...Perhaps there is just a part of me that has always wanted to be a vampire. Perhaps I was desperately searching for a good romance. Perhaps it was the fact that he dazzled her...

For whatever reason, I just finished Twilight in less than 48 hours.

I bite my tongue (careful not to draw blood) and stand corrected, as I wholeheartedly recommend this enchanting novel.

ps. Let the ridicule begin.

pps. Jacob read it too!

Lobsterman

2008-07-30T11:49:00.004-06:00

I am sitting at my Dad's office doing my usual thing when in walks a typical overweight maintenance man to fix our broken thermostat. He opened up the ceiling and brought a ladder into our small front office. When someone like that is in your personal space its hard not to notice how they smell.

This man smelled like the sea. Wet sand, salt water. I swear i could even hear seagulls.

I wonder how little Ella and Nelly and Faye feel about there Father switching professions.

OOPS!

2008-07-22T18:23:00.004-06:00

I tend to screen calls coming into my cell phone. Sometimes when people leave me messages I forget to check them. This particular voicemail was left last Tuesday (8 days ago).

VERY old man voice:

"This is Averil Keese, I called yesterday and I had a note here to call Maureen on 223-75** (my number) that would be today to call. This is an appointment for getting my pacemaker checked so I'll leave this call and hope you will call back soon to schedule the appointment."

I sincerely hope I didn't kill a man.

Comfort in unexpected places

2008-07-15T14:02:00.002-06:00

1. I got my teeth cleaned today and was pleasantly surprised when i got to keep the lead apron on for a longer time due to there need to take a new set of full mouth X-rays. I love the feeling of having that little bit of extra weight covering me up.

2. I asked the hygienist what was the main purpose of the afore mentioned lead apron to which she responded, "it's to protect your reproductive organs." I couldn't help laughing as she proceeded to shoot several X-rays at my head... good thing there is nothing important housed in my skull!

Climbing the Ladder

2008-06-27T22:46:00.004-06:00

Dang you Harry Potter, I will catch you.

Father's Day

2008-06-13T20:35:00.004-06:00

"In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of sacrifice.” -Viktor Frankl

I have never heard more perfect words to describe the way that my father lives his life. Thank you for your sacrifices Dad.

Gregorivich

2008-06-02T18:14:00.003-06:00

So I am sad to announce that the days of living with a 16 year old Scotsman are drawing to a close. I have enjoyed sharing food, shower, and toilet with the"dodgy" little fellow and I truthfully will miss him a lot, but a tribute post to Gregor would not be complete without a list of my all time favorite Gregor moments.

1. Gregor was really upset recently when he ate 8 apricots in a single sitting and later had diarrhea, he refused to believe that the excessive fiber consumption was the cause of his loose stools.

2. Earlier in Spring semester we decided to go to a UVSC (UVU) rodeo. When we arrived Greg was acting really really mad. I asked him what was wrong and he said, "When you told me we were going to a rodeo i thought that i was going to ride one of those bulls with people cheering (a mechanical bull)." He is still upset if you bring it up.

3. Perhaps the best bonding time that i ever had with Greg was when we spent an entire Jazz game arguing about whether or not a few of the jazz players were African American. I do agree that it is weird that someone with light skin calls themselves black, but its just culture right? You be the judge, Carlos Boozer black or white? Gregor refused to believe that he was of African descent.

This has been an interesting year, and the time spent with Gregor will not soon be forgotten. Greg if you ever read this i want you to know that i really will miss you. It has been fun to get to know more about Emma's family and about the European culture in general. I love you man, you're pretty fit, and i will honestly always consider you to be one of my brothers.

Man-U Forever, and as Michael Jackson always says, "It doesn't matter if you're black or white," or in this case, just black.

I'm going home!

2008-05-23T07:09:00.002-06:00

I have been awake since 5:30. It is now almost 7:30. 4 more hours until my flight leaves, 6 more hours till i see my family, and 11 more hours till I get to see Kendall!

I am so close to Redmond I can almost see the green.

Cat Fancy

2008-05-14T14:20:00.003-06:00

I just wanted to share with you the conversation that took place in my Family Finance class today regarding personal property taxes.(t=teacher, cl=50 year old cat lady who sits in the front row and comments on EVERYTHING)

t: Interestingly, when i was in Missouri teaching i discovered that people have to pay property taxes on animals such as cows and sheep.

cl: Do they have to pay taxes on all of their animals?

t: funny you should ask, because they don't have to pay on their Cats, proving once again that cats have no value to society!

cl: (very angry now) That is not true!

t: There is nothing that a cat does that is beneficial to the agrarian society.

cl: what about catching mice?

t: (with clear annoyance in his voice) Small children can catch mice better than cats.

cl: Ya, but small children don't eat mice!

t: Some children in Missouri eat mice and cats!

cl: (silence)

Congrats Mariners

2008-05-13T16:43:00.002-06:00

I just wanted to make a public announcement that the Mariners are officially the worst team in the American League. Only the notoriously terrible San Diego Padres are worse in all of baseball. This puts the Mariner's winning percentage, a scant .375 (15-25), behind American league underdogs such as the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, and the Kansas City Royals. Way to go Mariners, way to go.

So many women.

2008-05-02T11:32:00.002-06:00

Things that have been said about me by women in the last two days.

-You are so kind
-Such a gentlemen
-A sweetheart
-You're a handsome young man

Maybe the last comment gave away that these things were said by a few of the thousands of moms and grandmas that are in attendance at this years Women's Conference held at the Y. It has been so funny for the last two days to come out of class and have the hallways of buildings congested with old ladies.

It makes it impossible for me not to smile.

Race-burgers

2008-04-26T16:16:00.003-06:00

I don't mean to be racist at all, but I just ate the best hamburger of my life at a place (fittingly called) Best Burger, run entirely by Asians.

First math and now hamburgers.

Last day of finals.

2008-04-23T09:35:00.002-06:00

I am studying on the fourth floor of the library right now for my Anatomy final, the last thing standing between me and five day weekend. I just got back from the bathroom where I saw something disturbing.

I walked in and and casually glanced at the ground to check the feet to see which stalls were open. That's when i saw it... customary pants around the ankles but rather than wearing regular tennis or dress shoes, this "brother" was wearing only socks.

Perhaps the magnitude of the disgustingness will not affect you unless you have ever set foot in a mens restroom. (no pun intended)

Two faced.

2008-04-09T12:39:00.003-06:00

Today in my (second to last) anatomy lecture my teacher shared a picture of a four month old Indian girl. She has recently become popular in the news, because she was born with two faces, and naturally is thus being worshiped as a Hindu god. She has four eyes, two mouths (that open at the same time) and one brain. Truly a medical marvel! (at this point you may be asking yourself why i am blogging about this...)

A gentlemen in my class raised his hand and asked my teacher, "So what is the survivability like for a two faced baby?" My teacher (and the rest of the class) had a good laugh as she responded, "There is not a whole lot of documented cases of two faced babies."

When we had all settled down another guy in my class raised his hand. With a thick country accent he decided he would set the record straight, "Back home in the valley where i live, there was a two faced cat that was born like five years ago, and as far as i know it is still alive. So that might be good news for that baby."

I am sure that when the Indian family gets word of this scientifically isolated yet encouraging news that it will bolster their strength.

Don't Answer...

2008-03-31T20:12:00.003-06:00

Last Sunday night at Kendall's ward prayer I learned a valuable lesson. Not during the spiritual thought, not during the prayer, but following the festivities. The moment we said Amen I was approached by a nice looking dude who asked me whether or not i was new to the ward. When i told him that i was here for a girl from the ward he asked me the epic question, "What are you doing this summer?"

If you are ever asked this question don't answer it. I made the fatal mistake of saying I am staying in school. I knew i was in trouble when his next question was, "So do you have a job lined up, and how would you like to make more than $30,000 this summer?"

Summer sales is a parasite that has infested the hearts of many BYU students. It manifests itself in annoying conversations, preoccupation with expensive cars, and a pushy demeanor. People with the the bug will approach you at any time on campus, in the library, in class, and even spark up an awkward conversation at the the dreaded "next urinal over." Unfortunately for the victims, their lives end in loneliness, terrible spending habits, pre-mature balding, and imminent death.

The other "Bowling" Girl

2008-03-09T19:59:00.004-06:00

5. How many hours of sleep i got last night. (i use my cell phone as the my only clock which naturally adjusted for day light savings, so it might have been only four hours...)
4. The amount of crappy movies i have watched this weekend. "Dreamgirls," (sorry if that makes me uncultured) "Mad Money," "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" and "Van Helsing."
3. The amount of hours that i spent shoveling dirt off of the streets of Eagle Mountain on Saturday for my service club RHD (Rural Housing Development).
2. The place that my bowling team got (Kendall and I). Unfortunately, there were only two teams. I thought that our distinct size advantage over Adam and Emma would help the results play out differently... Also this means that Wii doesn't help your bowling game.
1. Number of Sporting events attended. BYU vs. Utah Rugby.
It was a wonderful weekend with a wonderful girl.
.

A little mall thought...

2008-03-05T18:58:00.003-07:00

I was walking through the mall today with my lovely lady friend and we passed several wireless phone Kiosks. Maybe it is just a Utah thing, but i swear that there are more of these cell phone booths than people who shop... I was looking at the employees who manned these "little stores" and i realized that they all had some things in common. I am pretty sure that the application to work at one of these places looks something like this...

Cell Phone Booth Attendant/Salesman
1) Are you a minority? Y or N
(if you answered yes to the above question please proceed)
2) Do you have a faux-hawk? Y or N

Pandora Radio

2008-02-29T20:39:00.004-07:00

I have discovered a miracle. Pandora Radio is one of the coolest online applications i have ever seen. All you have to do is enter in one of your favorite artists and it creates a custom radio station for you. As you listen you can tell the computer whether or not you like what you are hearing. It suggests new music and customizes more and more as you go. It is your own perfect radio station for what ever you are doing... whether that is studying, working, or still trying to figure out how this whole blogging thing works.

time to blog

2008-02-24T11:37:00.003-07:00

Once upon a time there was boy named Josh.

Josh has always loved to talk. When he was growing up he used to talk so much at dinners that his father devised a plan to prevent him from interrupting his older siblings. His father created what is known as the “Joshua Signal.” By placing his thumbs in his ears with only his pinkies extended and pointing in the air (almost like horns), he would quickly pivot both of his hands to face Josh, while sticking out his tongue. It was then Josh’s turn to talk.

I feel like the world is giving me the Joshua Signal now...